10 Happiness Habits

Happiness really is a choice and even though it doesn't always seem like it, it is in our grasp at every moment.

Here are some things to try when you are not feeling happy:

1. Smile - the act of smiling produces physical changes in your body that automatically improve your mood even if it is a fake smile.
2. Laugh - yes, laugh for no reason.  I love laughter yoga which is basically that - laughing for no reason!  And just for the record, fake laughter helps you as much as real laughter.  I have usually found that my fake laughs quickly turn into real laughs!
3. Read an uplifting book - the topic is personal to you because it needs to be something that makes you feel happy, hopeful, inspired, loved, etc.
4. Write in a journal - getting your thoughts on paper has been shown to be very healing on all levels.
5. Help someone else - helping people and being of service provides us with a feeling that can not be matched.
6. Write or think about what you have to be grateful for - this may seem obvious or if you are really down, you may have to work at this.  It can be that you are alive; that we have running water and electricity and indoor plumbing; that you can walk, think, talk, hear, see; that you have someone you love or that loves you; that you have food to eat; that you have a roof over your head; or, that you have a means to read this.
7. Exercise - get moving.  Even going for a simple walk will improve your mood.
8. Go out in nature - Being in nature has a way of grounding us and improving our mood.  It doesn't matter if it is the beach, the mountains, or a city park, it will help.  Take in your surroundings and feel your mood improve.
9. Meditate - If quieting your mind seems impossible, try a guided imagery type of meditation.  There are so many different ways to meditate and you can find the one that works for you. Just spend some quiet time with a simple focus.
10. Pray - If you don't feel comfortable with praying to God - think of it as asking your highest self to answer your prayers.  It can also be angels, saints, ancestors, whomever you feel comfortable to call on for assistance.  Studies have shown that prayer works.

I invite you to incorporate these into your daily life and let me know what results you notice.  You will start to feel happier.  I am certain of it.

Forgiveness: The Other F-word

The funny thing about forgiveness is that we often think it's about the other person or situation. Sometimes we also don't want to do it because we know we are right and they are wrong!  The fact is, that's irrelevant to forgiving.  Right and wrong don't come into play with forgiveness. As Louise Hay says, "Forgiveness opens our hearts to self-love."  It in turn opens us up to joy and success.  

Forgiveness doesn't mean the other person was right or justified or that their behavior is acceptable and should be condoned.  Forgiveness is about letting go of the anger and the resentment which live inside you.  It's like the old saying that resentment is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die.  It doesn't work that way - you are the one affected and resentment and unforgiveness eat away at you every day whether you realize it or not.  They take away your joy and your life.  

The past is over and it only exists now in our minds.  Yet we let it keep tormenting us on a daily basis.  It's time to let go.  It's time to forgive everyone who has done anything to hurt you.  You can start by just affirming, "I am willing to forgive _________."  It also sometimes helps to remember that no one hurts another person if they aren't hurting inside.  While that doesn't make it right, perhaps we can have understanding and compassion.  

It's also important to forgive ourselves. Sometimes we feel bad because we yelled at someone or we didn't do something we said we were going to do.  It happens, it's part of being human.  We need to let it go.  We need to forgive ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally. When possible, it's great to apologize if we feel bad about something or to make it up to someone if we can.  But either way, you must forgive yourself.  When we feel bad about anything, we are more likely to do things that make us feel bad again.  

Your assignment today is to think of someone who you need to forgive and start the process.  Remember, this is about you, not them.  They don't necessarily even need to know you are forgiving them.  If the situation is such that you want to tell them and that will help you and not cause any issues then by all means you can.  The most important part of the exercise is to forgive.  Feel what you need to feel about person and the situation and then let it go.  It's important that we acknowledge our feelings.  Allow them because they are important but then release them so you can move on and live freely.

As always, I welcome your feedback and would love to hear about your successes and challenges with forgiveness.  It is a wonderful teacher if we are open to its lessons!

Make it fun

How often do you "not feel like" exercise?  Do you ever not feel like having fun?  Most likely not - or rarely when you are very tired and really should sleep.  But when we think we have to "workout", notice the word work in there.  I think we should rename it "funout" :) It's time to get moving in a fun way.  If you aren't moving think of ways to make it fun.  Here are some ideas and I'd love to get others:

1. Go for a walk with a friend or friends.
2. Go for a walk by yourself in nature.
3. Go swimming - join a Y or someplace with an indoor pool during the winter.
4. Go for a hike.
5. Go on an active vacation.
6. Chase your kids around.
7. Go to a laughter yoga class - all you do is laugh!!  It doesn't get any better than that.
8. Go skiing or skating.
9. Play frisbee.
10. Get some fun active games for the Wii or XBox Kinect.  (I often laugh in addition to the movement!)
11. Go for a walk with your dog.

I welcome your suggestions as well - but remember, it doesn't have to be work to be a workout.  Make it fun so you'll want to do it every day or at least several days per week!!

And give yourself credit for all your movements - don't think it doesn't count because you enjoyed it!!  It absolutely does count and that's really one of the points!!  Life is meant to be enjoyed.  Please share your experiences with me.

10 Easy Ideas for Relaxation

When was the last time you really relaxed?  Is your mind constantly busy?  Do you ever just take time to relax and do nothing?  I don't mean do mindless activity like watch TV or sit on Facebook!  Those are not mind quieting and often, believe it or not, add to stress.  Not always and that depends on you but sometimes. Here are some ideas for relieving stress and opening yourself up to more creativity.

1. Meditate - just do it.  Guided relaxation, quieting your mind, mindfulness, following your breath, mantra.  If you don't know a lot about mediation, I'll do another blog on that.  In the meantime - you can just go to YouTube.  You'll find lots.  You don't have to even do this for a long time.  You can do a couple of minutes several times a day.  It really works!!

2. Exercise - get moving but not too hard.  If you are doing anaerobic exercise (where you can't carry on a conversation), you are actually adding to your stress level because it releases cortisol, the stress hormone.

3. Yoga.  Yes, this is exercise but I give it a category of it's own when it comes to stress relief because it is so effective.

4. Laugh - laughing is amazing for your body.  It helps reduce stress and heal on all levels.

5. Connect more.  This is really best done in person and really connecting.  Connecting on the computer really keeps us isolated since we are often alone there. Allow yourself to be with people and really be vulnerable and be a true friend.  Release judgement and connect. Every one of us is alike in many ways.  We all need love and we all have feelings and emotions.

6. Hug more.  We all need physical contact to thrive.  Hugging has so many benefits and it doesn't cost a thing! Shoot for 12 hugs minimum each day.

7. Forgive.  Forgive others and yourself.  You have to let go of anything that may have hurt you so that you can move on and that means forgiving others and yourself.  Forgiving is not condoning and is instrumental to your health.  If it seems like a stretch, start with the affirmation, "I am willing to begin to forgive."

8. Music - listen to music that makes you feel good.

9. Smile.  Smiling alone (even if you don't feel like it) releases chemicals in the brain that combat the stress hormones.  Often when a smile is returned, it makes us feel even better and further reduces our stress levels.

10. Take a relaxing bath.  Not a shower but a bath.  Allow the warm water to relax all your muscles.  Maybe turn off the lights and light some candles.  This goes perfectly with listening to relaxing music or a guided meditation.  Add some lavender and Epsom salt to make it a detox bath.  Enjoy.


If you do something special for yourself everyday, you'll notice the difference.  Let me know how it goes!!

Dream Big

What would you do if you knew that you couldn't fail?  What do you really dream of having, being, or doing?  Not just what you think is doable or attainable but what do you really want - what is your big dream?  Do you have a big dream?

Today, I want to suggest that we all create a vision of what our ideal life would look like.  What do you really want and why?  This is not something you need to share, especially in the beginning if it seems too big.  But eventually you absolutely want to share your BIG dreams with someone and anyone who may be able to help you attain it and who will be supportive.

Don't let anyone tell you that your dream is not attainable because we can really do anything if we believe in ourselves, we take steps in the right direction, and we keep at it until we get there.  It's important to listen to feedback along the way to make sure you are headed in the right direction and it's important to re-evaluate from time to time to make sure your goals and dreams haven't changed.  By that I do NOT mean give up on them but sometimes our passions shift and what was once important to us is no longer very important.  Spend your energy pursuing the big dreams that really make you happy and your life will be spend in joy!!

Believe In Yourself

How often do we look for the answers to life's challenges outside of ourselves?  I believe that is one of the reasons that I read so many self-help books - to find the answers I've been looking for.  But the truth is all the answers we need are inside us.  We have them, we just need to quiet our minds and listen.  I remember the first time you could ask God, Source, the Universe for help or answers through prayers but to hear the answers you must meditate or quiet your mind.  It makes so much sense.

What is all comes down to is believing in ourselves and our power.  We all have it.  The only difference is that some of us accept it and allow it and others of us don't believe enough in ourselves to even try to truly listen for the answers.  I challenge each one of us to allow our power to shine through.  Our power is our light and it is a good thing.  People who use "power" to control or hurt others are not really using their power - that's a lack of self-esteem and true self-confidence.  We don't need to be afraid of our power, we need to own it and allow it to flow freely through us every day.  It will inevitably benefit us and everyone around us.  Believe in yourself.  I do.  You can do anything you put your mind to.  You are an amazing person who can have the life you dream of and you can make a positive difference in the world every day!!  

Make today amazing!!  Believe in yourself.  Go share your light and your power with the world and see how things begin to change for the better every day!!

A video to make you laugh

Some of this is just hysterical.

Laughing is so important for our physical and mental well-being and it's fun!

Take a look and let me know if you like it!