What is "fitting in" costing you??

For years, I tried to fit in.  No, let me correct that.  I did fit in.  I did everything that was "expected" of me.  The problem with that is that I lost sight of what I wanted.  I made everyone else happy but I was slowly losing myself to everyone else.  I didn't even know what I wanted anymore.  Does that sound familiar?  Sometimes we become a shell of our true self.  Sometimes we lose our authenticity because of that outer facade we put on.  It's time to look at what you really want.  Who are you?  What do you want for your life?  It's time to make that a reality.  Be gentle with yourself since sometimes it's a hard journey to see our life may not reflect what we want.  It is safe to be you.  You can have the life of your dreams.  Go back to your long lost dreams and see if they still make your heart sing.  If they do, go after them.  You can do it.  It's time.  You can change your life no matter what it looks like now.  You can stand out.  You can have everything you want as soon as you decide what you really want and why.  Then relax and know that you can do it.  

Smile

Remember to smile.  Smiling releases chemicals in your brain that actually improve your mood.  In addition to that, smiling at others makes them happy and they tend to smile back which also improves your mood.  The ripple effect of one smile can make a world of difference.

So today, make an effort to smile at everyone you see.  Let me know how you feel and how your day goes!

February - Focus on Love and the Heart

Okay - so my focus for this month is going to be love and the heart.  I'll share some heart healthy nutrition, focus on self-love, and loving your life and everything in it.

The first and most important type of love I want to focus on is self-love.  Not in the egotistical way people often think of self-love.  In fact, when we are vein and talk about ourselves constantly, it usually means we are actually lacking in self-esteem, self-love, and self-confidence.  Because of that we often "brag" in order to get recognition.  Who doesn't want recognition?  We all do but when we don't give it to ourselves along with love, we focus on getting it from the outside and anyone who will give it to us.

So, for the month of February, I challenge myself and each one of you to make a daily commit of self-love and recognition through a mirror exercise.  I want you to look yourself in the eyes every time you pass a mirror and say, "I love you, ________, I really, really love you.  I appreciate all you do and I accept you exactly as you are right now!" (Insert your name where the blank is.)

If you are in a private location, say it aloud. If you are in a public restroom, you can absolutely say it to yourself since I may get a lot of funny looks.  :)  If you want to still say it out loud you can use that as a conversation starter and teach others the importance of loving themselves.  When we all are completely full of love, there will be no aggression toward ourselves or others.  When we recognize that we are all connected and all more similar than we are different, we will find peace and compassion.  We all have feelings and emotions, we all crave love and recognition, we all have positive and negative experiences that affect us - we are all here living life on this planet and experiencing many of the same types of things although the specifics may be different.

The second part of the challenge is before bed go to the mirror and tell yourself aloud how much you appreciate all the things you did well during that day. It could be anything.  If you are having a particularly bad day, it may simply be that you got yourself out of bed and went to work.  Nothing is too small to acknowledge.  If you made a healthy selection of food or drink, if you acknowledged someone else and made them feel good.  If you got your kids to school on time.  It doesn't matter what it is - only focus on the good.  And finish up by saying, "I love you, ___________, and I really appreciate you.  I forgive you for all the things you feel need forgiving.  I forgive you for not giving yourself enough credit.  I forgive everyone who doesn't recognize what you do.  I love you!!  You are amazing.  I really, really love you!!"

Try this for the month - please tell me how you feel.  Do you notice any differences?  You may even want to journal about this so you see the difference.  Can you look yourself in the eyes when you say these loving words to yourself? Do you want to cry?  Do you notice a shift?  Please do share.  This can be transformational if you commit to it.

This month know that you are loved.  And focus on feeling the love from others put most importantly from yourself.  I love you!!  Namaste!!

Patience - yep, again!

I know I talk about the importance of patience a lot but it's what I need to work on and I know I'm not alone.  So often we get discouraged if things don't go exactly the way we want when we want.  Let's put a stop to that today :)

If you have a goal, it may take time to achieve that.  As you may know, I have recently taken up running.  Okay, some people would call what I do wogging.  A combination of walking and jogging but I will get better every time I get out there as long as I'm consistent and keep at it. It's easy to get discouraged and say, I can't do a marathon that will take me forever and I don't have the patience to walk it - and perhaps not the muscle strength (however, walking is a lot easier than running!)  I am basing that on my present physical condition.  But guess what, I can change that IF I have patience!!  

The same goes for any goal - weight loss is a great example, too.  Often people look at a 1 pound weight loss as nothing when they have 80 more pounds to lose but the fact is, it's a step in the right direction and with every step - no matter how small - you are getting closer to your goals!!

So my goals for today are to really ask myself what I can do for me today to bring me joy and get me closer to my goals and then listen!  Often we ask the question but when we don't have an immediate answer, we stop listening!

Take time today to be patient with yourself and take note of any progress you have made toward your goals.  It doesn't matter how small.  Write it down and celebrate yourself.  Take another action step in the right direction and applaud your courage and determination.

Enjoy your day.  Be patient and trust that all is well and you can do anything!!

Beliefs

"When we expand our thinking and beliefs, our love flows freely.  When we contract, we shut ourselves off." ~ Louise Hay

One thing that I have found on my journey of self-improvement is that sometimes I have limiting beliefs that I'm not even aware of.  In fact, they are so well buried that if you asked me if I believed that I would give an emphatic, "NO!!"  It's really interesting when we allow ourselves to delve deep into our inner workings.  The things that come up as astounding.  I saw this quote in Louise's book, The Power is Within You, and it reminded me how important it is to be open.  Open to the possibility that that we are holding ourselves back through undiscovered, buried beliefs.  Open to the possibility that we can really have everything we want.  Open to the possibility that what we want may come to us in a way that is different that what we are expecting.  For example, if I want a certain type of _________ (fill in the blank), I may get something different that actually has all the qualities of that certain something or someone but isn't what I thought it would be.  We have to be open to doing more inner work and loving ourselves no matter what comes up.  We have to be open to allowing all the good and abundance we desire into our lives.  It is all ours for the asking if we are open to it and willing to change our limiting beliefs and behaviors when prompted.

Also in the book, Louise gives some affirmations that she uses.  I'm going to list them here and start using them myself starting today.  Remember to be patient - when you plant a seed, it take time to grow.  If you nurture it, it will grow but won't be full grown in 5 minutes.  The same is generally true of affirmations - they may not completely manifest in the next 5 minutes but with love and nurturing - they will manifest.  And so it is!!

Affirmations from  The Power is Within You by Louise Hay.

• Everything I need to know is revealed to me.
• Everything I need comes to me in the perfect time-space sequence.
• Life is a joy and filled with love.
• I am loving and lovable and loved.
• I am healthy and filled with energy.
• I prosper wherever I turn.
• I am willing to change and to grow.
• All is well in my world.

May we all remember, that our thoughts create our reality. May we believe in ourselves every day. And may we love one another and ourselves and always strive to serve while we allow all good things to come to us.

Please feel free to share your reactions in your successes. Namaste.

The Time Is Now

I did it!!  I completed my first timed 10K today!!  I did a 10K today in 1:28:39 :)  I know to avid runners that may not be a super fast time but I am very excited.  I completed it. I wouldn't get swept at Disney :)  and that's really what is most important to me. 

One of the things I think about is how important it is to be happy with our own progress and where we are right now.  We can't start somewhere that we aren't :)  I know I'm not alone in thinking that it would be so much easier to run if I weighed less and in the past that has prevented me from starting.  How silly is that?  how human is that?  We all do it in certain circumstances.  We compare ourselves to others and how well they do something but you know what - they didn't start there.  And we have to start where we are.  If I'm in Boston and want to go to LA, I can't start in Phoenix.  I need to start where I am.  The same goes for any of our goals.  It doesn't matter where we are, we can get to our destination if we accept where we are and take action to get where we want to go.  

If walking is all you can do - do it!!  You don't need to be able to run. If you want to run, you'll get there.  If you choose to keep walking, that's fine, too.  There is no need to compare to others - we never come out exactly equal because no two people are exactly alike with all the same experiences and reactions.  It's just the way it is!!

So if you don't have a regular exercise routine, will you get out there today and start moving? Remember to listen to your body and do what you can do.  Tomorrow you'll be able to do a little more and the next day, even more than that.  

Please let me know how it goes.  Smile, be happy, and focus on all you have and have accomplished and more will come!!  Patience :)

Become Unstoppable

Just a quick little reminder that we can do anything when we decide to do it!!  Make up your mind about what you want in life and allow it.  The steps you need to take to get there will become clear if you allow it.  Then take action and enjoy the life of your dreams.  Dream big since you can have it all!!

Dream Big

What would you do if you knew that you couldn't fail?  What do you really dream of having, being, or doing?  Not just what you think is doable or attainable but what do you really want - what is your big dream?  Do you have a big dream?

Today, I want to suggest that we all create a vision of what our ideal life would look like.  What do you really want and why?  This is not something you need to share, especially in the beginning if it seems too big.  But eventually you absolutely want to share your BIG dreams with someone and anyone who may be able to help you attain it and who will be supportive.

Don't let anyone tell you that your dream is not attainable because we can really do anything if we believe in ourselves, we take steps in the right direction, and we keep at it until we get there.  It's important to listen to feedback along the way to make sure you are headed in the right direction and it's important to re-evaluate from time to time to make sure your goals and dreams haven't changed.  By that I do NOT mean give up on them but sometimes our passions shift and what was once important to us is no longer very important.  Spend your energy pursuing the big dreams that really make you happy and your life will be spend in joy!!

Believe In Yourself

How often do we look for the answers to life's challenges outside of ourselves?  I believe that is one of the reasons that I read so many self-help books - to find the answers I've been looking for.  But the truth is all the answers we need are inside us.  We have them, we just need to quiet our minds and listen.  I remember the first time you could ask God, Source, the Universe for help or answers through prayers but to hear the answers you must meditate or quiet your mind.  It makes so much sense.

What is all comes down to is believing in ourselves and our power.  We all have it.  The only difference is that some of us accept it and allow it and others of us don't believe enough in ourselves to even try to truly listen for the answers.  I challenge each one of us to allow our power to shine through.  Our power is our light and it is a good thing.  People who use "power" to control or hurt others are not really using their power - that's a lack of self-esteem and true self-confidence.  We don't need to be afraid of our power, we need to own it and allow it to flow freely through us every day.  It will inevitably benefit us and everyone around us.  Believe in yourself.  I do.  You can do anything you put your mind to.  You are an amazing person who can have the life you dream of and you can make a positive difference in the world every day!!  

Make today amazing!!  Believe in yourself.  Go share your light and your power with the world and see how things begin to change for the better every day!!

Simple Steps to Become Fit

Have you noticed how some people are just fit?  How is that?  Well... to be truly fit doesn't "just happen."  If you want to be fit, you will need to work on that.  However, it doesn't have to be "work".  We'll talk later about ways to make fitness fun.  It is easier to create new healthy habits that last when we get enjoyment from them.

1. Decide what you want in terms of your fitness

Often we don't get what we want because we haven't clearly determined what it is that we want.   That applies to all areas of our lives not just fitness. But if you say, "I want to be fit."  Well, was does that mean to you?  To some people it may simply be a number on a scale.  To some people it may mean being able to keep up with their kids running in the back yard.  Others may want to run a marathon.  What does being fit mean to you?

You may think, well I know what being fit means.  That's great, you are a step ahead of many of us.  I still want you to be as specific as you can in terms of how you would measure that fitness.

If you are one of those who see fitness as a number on a scale, I do want to ask you to rethink that as the sole criteria.  Our weight is important but is only one factor.  Being a health and wellness coach, I immediately think of heart health when I think of fitness (also as just one factor) but we've really got to exercise that heart muscle for fitness.

Also, just because you don't want to be a body builder or look like one, that doesn't mean that weight training is not important.  Building lean muscle mass is important for health and well-being at every age.  It also doesn't have to come from going to a gym and lifting weights.  There are many exercises that use your own body weight for strength training.


2. Write down your definition of fitness

Now that you've clarified it in your head, write it down. This helps to set your intention to achieve that level of fitness.

3. Create goals around your definition of fitness

All goals need to be SMART goals.

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Time driven



Here's an example of a well-written goal.  "I will run and complete a marathon by May 31, 2013 at 5 pm."

It is specific - running a marathon.  It is measurable. It does say by when this will be completed.  But now is it attainable and realistic?  Are there any marathons happening at a location you can be at this month?  Are you ready to run a marathon?  If you are currently 100 pounds overweight and completely sedentary, you do not want to set a goal to run a marathon this month.  You can absolutely set that as a goal but you want to be realistic in all aspects of the goal including time frame.

I always have long-term goals in all areas of my life but I find it very useful to have short term goals that when I achieve I move closer to the long-term goal and I have that feeling of accomplishment more often than if I have wait 5 years.

4.  Start imagining yourself as that fit person you want to be

How do you feel?  What do you look like?  What kind of external feedback to you receive?  Feel it.  Enjoy it.  Know that this is you!

Some people think of this visualization exercise as silly but it is much more powerful that people realize.  Professional athletes use this all the time.


5. Make your fitness (and your health) a priority

When you opt not to do some form of exercise (gardening, running, jumping jacks, cleaning, dancing), what are you doing instead?  What are you making a priority?  Is that newest reality TV show really more important than your fitness.  There are plenty of TV commercial based exercises that I'll share, too.

6. Take action

I know for years I have said that health and fitness were my priorities but never took action on it.  In fact, I have studied health and fitness unofficially and officially for over thirty years.  The reality, however, is that it has only been in the last few years that I have started applying all the knowledge I built up in that time :)  I'm not yet at the fitness level I would like to be but I'm on my way.

7. Celebrate your actions

It is so important to celebrate or at the very least acknowledge our achievements.  We often focus on what we didn't accomplish instead of what we did.  So if you want to workout 5 days this week but only did 3, congratulate yourself for doing 3!  Next week you can work toward the goal of 5.

8. Reward yourself

This goes along with the celebrating your successes but we feel good when we are rewarded.  As such, we are more likely to keep going in that right direction.  I do not recommend rewarding yourself with food but occasionally a nice, healthy meal can be the reward.  If one of your goals is to become thinner and you've achieved that, I find it more fun to go out an get some new clothes that are smaller and reinforce my success!