Forgiveness: The Other F-word

The funny thing about forgiveness is that we often think it's about the other person or situation. Sometimes we also don't want to do it because we know we are right and they are wrong!  The fact is, that's irrelevant to forgiving.  Right and wrong don't come into play with forgiveness. As Louise Hay says, "Forgiveness opens our hearts to self-love."  It in turn opens us up to joy and success.  

Forgiveness doesn't mean the other person was right or justified or that their behavior is acceptable and should be condoned.  Forgiveness is about letting go of the anger and the resentment which live inside you.  It's like the old saying that resentment is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die.  It doesn't work that way - you are the one affected and resentment and unforgiveness eat away at you every day whether you realize it or not.  They take away your joy and your life.  

The past is over and it only exists now in our minds.  Yet we let it keep tormenting us on a daily basis.  It's time to let go.  It's time to forgive everyone who has done anything to hurt you.  You can start by just affirming, "I am willing to forgive _________."  It also sometimes helps to remember that no one hurts another person if they aren't hurting inside.  While that doesn't make it right, perhaps we can have understanding and compassion.  

It's also important to forgive ourselves. Sometimes we feel bad because we yelled at someone or we didn't do something we said we were going to do.  It happens, it's part of being human.  We need to let it go.  We need to forgive ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally. When possible, it's great to apologize if we feel bad about something or to make it up to someone if we can.  But either way, you must forgive yourself.  When we feel bad about anything, we are more likely to do things that make us feel bad again.  

Your assignment today is to think of someone who you need to forgive and start the process.  Remember, this is about you, not them.  They don't necessarily even need to know you are forgiving them.  If the situation is such that you want to tell them and that will help you and not cause any issues then by all means you can.  The most important part of the exercise is to forgive.  Feel what you need to feel about person and the situation and then let it go.  It's important that we acknowledge our feelings.  Allow them because they are important but then release them so you can move on and live freely.

As always, I welcome your feedback and would love to hear about your successes and challenges with forgiveness.  It is a wonderful teacher if we are open to its lessons!